I Should Be Over The Butterflies
by x-backtoblack-x
Summary: When you've know someone as long as Aubrey's known Chloe it's easy for them to lose their shine. That's quite possibly what was so unique about Chloe though, she never faded, not once.


**From this prompt: Maybe you could work with the song "Still Into You" by Paramore, it's one of their new songs & could be cute, fluffy, angsty or whatever you want really!**

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_I should be over all the butterflies  
But i'm into you  
And baby even on our worst nights  
I'm into you_

When you've know someone as long as Aubrey's known Chloe it's easy for them to lose their shine. It's not like it happens on purpose, but when someone's been in your life for eleven years it's easy for them to just… fade into the background.

That's quite possibly what was so unique about Chloe though (to Aubrey anyway). She never faded. Not once since they first met on their very first day of middle school has Chloe been anywhere but the forefront of Aubrey's mind.

They of course became best friends in two seconds flat. They were made lab partners, and by the end of that first period Aubrey had a funny feeling she'd made a best friend for life (the feeling was confirmed when Chloe invited herself over to Aubrey's that weekend for a sleepover, and the weekend after that Aubrey found herself at Chloe's for a movie night).

Thick as thieves from age eleven.

They even double dated once, though it ended in disaster when the guy Chloe was with kept making derogatory comments towards the red head that made a then fourteen year old Chloe blush... Aubrey's hand may have hurt for a week, but the black eye he got was worth it.

Aubrey had just presumed that Chloe needed to be defended (although the red head gave out to her the whole way home, insisting violence was never the answer). Similarly Aubrey had also made the presumption that the reason Chloe had never faded into the woodwork of her life was because she was the first real friend the blonde had ever had.

Any other reason would be crazy after all.

It wasn't until her sophomore year of high school that the truth hit her like a tonne of bricks. No really, the realization actually did hit her. It didn't weigh a tonne though; it weighed whatever Chloe had weighed when she was sixteen.

Aubrey had always seen dodgeball to be a neanderthalic sport anyway. It's why she'd never really taken much interest in it, instead choosing to stand off to one side and swerve away from the ball on the rare occasion someone was brave enough to throw it at her (in freshman year one kid had considered her an easy target, and proceeded to cry when Aubrey shouted at him for a full five minutes).

Chloe on the other hand was an enthusiast of all sport. It wasn't even the competitive element that drove her; she just liked to run about.

So that's how it'd happened. Aubrey had been standing to one side, lost in thought about what she was going to write her English paper on, and Chloe had been running towards her, completely caught up in the game. They'd gone down hard, and Aubrey was sure her lungs had been knocked into her throat as she smacked the floor, and Chloe's full weight came down on top of her.

Her first instinct should have been to shout, even if it was her best friend that had done it, but she didn't. When she opened her eyes and saw Chloe's face no more than an inch away her brain had screamed one thing, and one thing only:

"Kiss her!"

She hadn't of course. Chloe had rolled off her with apologies tripping from her lips before she even had a chance to process her thought, never mind act on it.

She couldn't shake it though. She couldn't shake the two words that had flashed red in her mind the second her eyes had locked with Chloe's serine blue pools. What did it mean? Was she gay? Was she bi? Maybe she only liked boys except from Chloe? Maybe she only liked Chloe? Maybe it was just a spur of the moment instinct that meant nothing?

There was only one person in her life that'd ever been smart enough to figure out problems like this. Chloe of course was the root of the problem in this instance, so that was no help at all.

By the time junior year rolled around and Aubrey still got the urge to kiss Chloe every time they were together (which was a lot due to the whole being best friends thing) she decided something needed to change. She'd dropped to an A- in AP calculus because of all her silly fretting so something really needed to give (and she'd be damned if it was her grades).

She'd brought up the conversation casually that next weekend, as both girls sat on Chloe's bed, only half watching a movie as they stuffed their face with sweets:

"Do you think it's possible to love someone if you're not going out with them?" It was a reasonable question Aubrey thought, nothing too tell tale about it.

"Oh, who do you like!" Chloe was like a moth to a flame when it came to gossip.

"No, not me." So much for it being a safe subject. "It's a… book. It's a book I'm reading, and one of the characters is in love with someone even though they've never been romantically involved with one another." She explained, still careful with her wording.

"But they do know one another?" Chloe questioned, obviously mulling over Aubrey's query in her head.

"They're best friends." Aubrey confirmed.

"Then yea, definitely." Chloe elaborated no further, so Aubrey didn't push.

They fell back to silence for a while, as a particularly good scene began on screen. It was another few minutes before Aubrey plucked up the courage to speak again.

"Chloe…" She waited until the red head faced her. "I think… I think I'm bi." It was like ripping off a band aid, as she looked into the same calming blue eyes she'd been so mesmerised by a year ago, she all of a sudden felt a surge of confidence from nowhere.

Aubrey wasn't sure if it was the adrenaline from her admittance or not, but what happened next had almost caused her to pass out. Chloe smiled at her. One of those genuine smiles that filled up her whole face, and made happiness radiate to every corner of the room.

"Thank you." She whispered, cupping Aubrey's cheek with her soft fingers. "Thank you for telling me." She leaned in then, planting the most tender of kisses on the blondes cheek.

"There's more." Aubrey's throat was dry and raspy when she spoke, fear having apparently caught up with her. "I…" She paused and swallowed, averting her gaze from Chloe's adoring stare that lay inches from her face.

"Hey it's okay." Chloe soothed, her fingers beginning to stroke softly at Aubrey's cheek. "I'll always be here. You can tell me anything." Their faces were so close Aubrey could feel Chloe's words tickle at her lips.

The urge to kiss her was almost overwhelming. In the end Aubrey was sure that's what had drove her to her admittance. The almost uncontrollable desire for something more.

"You." Aubrey croaked, becoming aware of the tears in her voice. "I'm in love with you." She allowed their eyes to meet again as an unreadable expression flashed through Chloe's features.

"You're in love with me?" As Chloe repeated the statement in a breathy whisper all concepts of time seemed to disapear, leaving only the two of them in an empty void.

Aubrey nodded. She couldn't bring herself to speak. She watched as Chloe's breath hitched softly somewhere in the back of her throat. It felt like hours had crawled by since her first admittance, yet the rational part of her brain told her it could have been no more than mere minutes.

Aubrey hadn't realized she'd stopped breathing until Chloe releasing her own shaky breath reminded her.

"I don't…" Chloe paused, seeming to search herself for words to say. "I don't know…" She paused again, the frustration at not having a reply evident on her face.

"You don't know what to do?" Aubrey's question was met with a simple nod. "You don't have to." It was only when she said it that Aubrey realised that it was true; that Chloe didn't always need to have all the answers. "I knew what I was risking when I said it… I knew that no matter what happened things would never be the same. I guess… I guess I just hoped this wouldn't be the end result." She made a move to break away from the warmth of Chloe's hand still on her cheek, but was stopped.

"You're damn right I don't know what to do." Chloe's tone was unreadable, though there was an odd lilt to it Aubrey could only presume to be happiness. "I don't know whether to laugh or kiss you." Definitely happiness.

"What?" For the first time in her life Aubrey felt really, really dumb.

"God you're such an idiot." Chloe laughed. "Aubrey Scarlett Posen, I've loved you since the very first day we were made lab partners and you almost lost your shit when I didn't measure the liquid from the meniscus."

"Everyone knows you read from the meniscus…" She knew now wasn't the time, but god it bugged her when people made silly mistakes like that.

"Yea, I think I'm going to kiss you." Chloe seemed to finally decide. "I may actually shut you up for a change."

They came out a week before their graduation. At first it was only to a few close friends, but in high school no friend's really that close when gossip's involved, so by the end of the day they'd both been dragged out of the closet, whether they liked it or not.

For the most part it wasn't so bad. There was only a week to go, so they could deal with the stares. They got the whole counselling thing, although which such little time left before they graduated that was more of a formality than anything. Chloe's parents had more or less welcomed Aubrey as their daughter in law the second they'd been told, Chloe's mother even going as far as to question if they planned to have kids someday (Aubrey had proceeded to spit up her drink all over Chloe's living room carpet).

It wasn't until they stood in front of Aubrey's parents, hands clasped firmly, that Aubrey realized just how harsh the real world could be.

"Gay?" Her father sounded like he'd never heard a word dirtier in all his life.

"In love." Aubrey corrected, voice staying as even as she could manage, feeling Chloe's hand squeeze tighter.

"With a girl." This time his tone was a low snarl, as if daring Aubrey to confirm her filthy actions one more time.

"Yes." She confirmed them regardless. "With Chloe. I'm in love with Chloe." Aubrey whimpered.

"Get out." All emotion was gone from his tone, replaced instead with a sharp iciness that slashed through Aubrey's very soul.

"Dad…" The syllable left her mouth in a shuddering and terrified whimper.

"Get out." His cold tone coloured with an angry flare this time.

"Mom?" She turned to her mother, desperate and pleading, only to find the woman that had once sung her to sleep avert her gaze in shame. "Please?" She turned back to her father, only to find his stare just as cold.

"Get out." When she was a child her father had only ever given her three warnings before he would punish her, and this felt oddly similar as Aubrey turned in defeat.

She was stopped though. She was stopped by the same hand that had been clasped with hers the entire time, as it pulled her back to where she'd stood.

"How could you?" She'd never heard Chloe so angry before, the rage seeming to seep from every pore like a lethal venom. "She's your daughter." The red head spat, taking a bold step closer to Aubrey's father. "She's your little girl. She's the same little girl you taught to ride a bike. The same little girl you've watched win spelling bee's and singing competitions and math quizzes since she was six years old. The same little girl that you tucked into bed at night, kissed on the head and told you her you loved her."

"No." Aubrey's father's word seemed final. "Not anymore."

"Yes anymore!" Chloe yelled, probably for the first time in her entire life. "Yes anymore because that love you had for her wasn't conditional! It's not fucking conditional. That's not how this works. She's your little girl. She's your little girl and when she was six years old and you told her you loved her there was no terms and conditions at the end, and there shouldn't be now!"

"She chose…" He didn't even get to finish his sentence.

"Bullshit!" Chloe was crying, and Aubrey was crying, but she never stopped the red head as she continued. "She chose nothing. You're the only one making a choice here! You're choosing to have her slip through your fingers all because of something you don't understand. All because you're ignorant and afraid." Aubrey was sure she could see a fire burning in Chloe's deep blue pupil.

"Leave, both of you. Leave now." Her father was physically shaking with rage.

Chloe turned without another word, dragging Aubrey behind her as they left the house. It still marvelled Aubrey that the same girl that'd torn chunks out of her father that day had held her close that night and ran delicate fingers through her long golden hair as she'd cried herself to sleep.

College had made things both easier, and at the same time more difficult. Aubrey's parents were still the same, just further away. Aubrey was worried, though. She was worried that rooming with Chloe, spending every waking minute with Chloe, would make the red head loose her charm. Would make her one of those mundanities, just like her mother and fathers relationship had become, just like all relationships seemed to become after so many years.

For the first time in her life, Aubrey was glad she was wrong.

Her mother still called, begging Aubrey to come home, praying for her to repent from her life or sin, wondering how she could go on living the way she did, but Aubrey knew how she was able to go on living this way.

She knew because every day she found something new to love about Chloe. Every day she noticed something unique about the red head that she'd failed to see before. Every day she woke up and felt butterflies creep up in her stomach when she turned to face the woman spooning her and kissed her softly on the tip of her nose.

Every day she woke up, and when the words "I love you" slipped off her tongue, she knew she meant it even more than she had the day before.

_Let em wonder how we got this far  
Cause I don't really need to wonder at all  
Yeah after all this time  
I'm still into you_


End file.
